Unoriginal
by toinin' and boinin
Summary: A parody of the "Jack meets Judy and Nick" story. Jack Savage gets sent in from Britain to solve stop a plot that could endanger any city in England, also Zootopia but who cares about the pred-lovers. Judy Hopps is here to help him, though she's been brainwashed by the city. Can Jack save Judy from her liking of predators before it's too late?


Jack Savage in

 _ **Unoriginal**_

 **The exact same "Jack Savage meets Judy and Nick" story just with a few minor differences that usually make it worse overall**

Finnick walked up to the guard standing in front of the interrogation room. "Is she in there?" asked the Fennec fox. The guard replied, "Yep, and the camera's are turned off too, no one will ever know either of you were in the building." "Except for your friends in high places that is." said the Fennec.

Finnick sat down at the smaller table that would normally be on a larger table, but due to the similar size of the two occupants of the room the table had been removed. Finnick looked at the chess board laid out ready for a game, then to the glasses that belonged to the other occupant, then to the contacts that changed her eye color, then to the sheep. "Hello Finnick," said Dawn, "care to play?" Finnick didn't, but still made a move. Why they would give him and Dawn a chess board neither of them knew. They both played still, but neither really cared who won or lost.

"So Dawn, you doing okay in prison? How many preds have tried to kill you so far?" Finnick asked. Dawn gave a surprisingly lighthearted answer saying, "Oh only about 13 predators but 27 prey animals have tried their luck as well." "Damn, prison seems a lot more progressive than I would have thought." said Finnick. "Oh no, the majority of those were from animals who want collars," Dawn said, "turns out when you help 'create' a substance that causes predators to kill anything in its general vicinity, you become pretty unpopular with those who hate predators, even if you did support their cause."

After a few more minutes of silence and chess moves, Finnick remembered something. "I got you your stuff by the way." Finnick then threw over a flash drive and a metal container. Dawn then smiled and ducked her head under the table and said in a loud but joking tone, "Thank you Finnick for giving me a way to escape as well as the documents that connect you guys to everything!" "Hardy, har, I'm guessing the room is bugged?" asked Finnick. "When is it not?" replied Dawn.

"So what's the newest development in this worthless border nation on the brink of civil war?" asked Dawn. Finnick replied, "Brits are about to send some genetically enhanced guy over for something. He's a Jackrabbit named Jack Savage," Dawn laughed a little at the failed to give this Jack guy a tough and intimidating name, "I don't know exactly why he's here, but there are some rumors about some kind of advanced nighthowlers. I think the British are either trying to destroy it before predator-dominant nations get their paws on it or getting a sample and using it themselves. Being from Great Britain, I would assume he's not a big fan of predators." Dawn then said, "Oh, I don't think he will, in fact, why don't we cut away to what Jack is doing contradicting your previous statement."

…

Jack Savage saw his target, a raccoon named Rocky, get out of his limousine and begin walking towards the building. 'Oh he's in for a surprise,' thought Jack as he wired the boiler room of the orphanage for the disabled with explosives. 'One big surprise indeed'

"Hey, what are you doing here?" yelled the Janitor at Jack who then promptly killed the Janitor. "Well, everyone probably knows I'm here now so I might as well just go kill him."

Jack then walked into the room where Rocky was speaking, located strangely close to the boiler room. "I know that this place is very old, run down, and underfunded," said Rocky, "so, I have decided to make a donation of–" and Jack then shot the raccoon, who was also children's book writer and the owner of a charity by the way. Everyone in the room panicked and ran out and Rocky collapsed in the corner.

A while later Jack was back in his motel room when he got a message from HQ. "Agent Savage, I do hope you enjoyed your break, although I don't really see murdering a charitable, self-made millionaire and then blowing up an orphanage killing everyone inside as enjoyable, but we have a mission for you." Jack replied "Oh good, it's so boring when I can't go back to the training grounds since they got repurposed, but apparently I'm there as well." "Yes, quite," said the currently unknown British woman in a very British way, "your new mission is in zootropolis." Jack then asked back, "Wait, what city is that?" The British woman replied, "In the country of zootopia it's called zootopia, we call it zootropolis to avoid confusion." "That is the dumbest shit I have ever heard." replied Jack. "That's beside the point," replied the British woman, "there is currently evidence that there is a group making some kind of improved nighthowlers, your mission is to track them down, collect a sample of or destroy the nighthowlers, and if their predators,"

"kill them all."

…

"Holy shit." said Dawn. "What?" said Finnick. "That stupidly named Jack guy blew up a fucking orphanage." "How do you know that?" replied Finnick. "Through the broken fourth wall." replied Dawn.

"Well, I think they want me out of here now." said Finnick. "Why's that?" said Dawn. "It has something to do with them telling me to get out for the past half hour." said Finnick. "Aw, we didn't even get to finish our chess game." Dawn said as Finnick jumped of the larger table.

As Finnick was about to walk out, Dawn said, "Do you want to see how to win a chess game every time?" Finnick then said, "Hold on, how-" just before Dawn pulled out a handgun from under the table and shot Finnick's remaining chess pieces. "They gave you a gun?" asked Finnick. "No, no, they left it in here from the last time this place was used." said Dawn motioning to a bloodstain behind Finnick's chair. "Well," Finnick said, "I hope you survive whatever they do to you for pulling off that thing you did." "Hey, do you want to see me tempt fate?" asked Dawn, "See you on the other side, SharkFin. I said it ironically so I think I'm safe." Finnick laughed and said back, "Yep, hope your retirement after this helps you see your family more and finally accomplish your dreams like you always wanted, Hells Bells." Then Finnick walked out, and shut the door behind him.

AN: OK, this probably makes no sense to you, a lot of unanswered questions, but I may or may not write sequels to this, so if I don't, just ignore all the unanswered questions. Also I actually have some jokes for the next chapter.

If I do end up writing sequels, they will explore concepts I haven't seen explored yet in other fanfictions, have more drama and less comedy, and will also be very disappointing. I actually came up with several ideas to exist within this same AU before I got the idea for this story, the "Jack Savage meets Nick and Judy" parody was going to be separate from those theoretical sequels, but I didn't know where to start so I decided to start here.

Explanations: Jack is a giant asshole to make fun of the people who just write Jack as just an asshole, except I'm taking it to another level as Jack is a sociopathic asshole, so expect Jack to kill a lot more people. The country of Zootopia is a border nation between Canada and the United States after Canada had a revolution and the government was then run primarily by predators becoming a "predator dominant" nation. The United States and many other countries that are "prey dominant" are run something along the lines of the zoodystopia concept, but usually with slightly more lax laws. Zootopia is its own kind of government being more along the lines of a loose connection of city states that about half are prey dominant and half are predator dominant. After the night-howler incident, the country is on the brink of civil war. Hurray! The city of Zootopia is one of the last places on earth that is not prey or predator dominant and is also one of the last remnants of the equality movement of the mid to late 20th century.


End file.
